7 effective ways to rebuild confidence after a major setback
Use these methods and watch your life transform in the span of days!
We’ve all been there. Maybe we had our heart broken, maybe society broke us down or we experienced a major loss. Oftentimes, we lack confidence in ourselves not just because of outside events but because of our accumulated and unresolved trauma.
In this article I’m going to share with you 7 effective ways to rebuild your self-confidence systematically for the better. It DOES NOT matter how low you feel right now, what matters is that in the present moment, you have the ability to totally shift your life trajectory and reclaim the power of your soul for good.
Healing is never a linear process - and one big thing we need to do is accept and love ourselves through our worst phases as well as best ones. You may go through several more shadow periods and sometimes it can feel like a never ending tunnel; but you also have the ability to keep moving and that’s everything.
So, let’s take a look at some key factors that are going to help you restore your relationship with yourself and get back your self-confidence.
The first thing you need to do is release and introspect on the accumulated things which are weighing you down in the present. It’s important to create space in your mind and energy field to allow new energy to come in.
Exercise: take a piece of paper and a pen, sit in a quiet location and write down first for 10 minutes everything that comes to your mind. After this free flow journalling practice, write down your predominant state of mind. Write in detail as to how you feel in general and what you feel sad, angry or frustrated about - and if possible, why you feel this way. Spend as long as you want on this second practice. After doing so, write down 3 ways that you can support yourself to feel better and nourish your spirit. For example, if you know that you wake up and the first thing you do is open your phone and compare yourself, stop doing that. Decide the next small steps you are doing to take to uplift your energy and practice self-care. This three part journalling practice will give you a lot of insight and more confidence in your self-healing journey.In order to rebuild your self-confidence after a setback, you really need to invest time in yourself. It can be hard to heal when we are constantly giving our energy to the world and not saving any for ourselves. Letting go of toxic attachments, habits, and setting boundaries is crucial to bring back your confidence. This doesn’t mean giving up family duties or responsibilities, but rather becoming better at managing boundaries and identifying what is clearly unnecessary or draining for you.
Exercise: write down all the ways in the which you leak your energy. Is it through scrolling social media? Excess time spent hanging out with friends? In a list, write down all the influences in your life that you feel are toxic and draining for you. Then write down how you can set better boundaries with these (e.g. cutting away toxic people from your life, setting time limits on how much you talk to someone, turning your phone off after 9pm so you can focus on your rituals). If you feel like going deeper, identify the toxic patterns and habits within yourself that drain your energy. It could a recreation or substance habit, it could be the way you talk to yourself. The first step to change is always self—awareness - and the unwavering commitment that you are going to free yourself of all that brings you down and achieve the positive changes that you want. Once again, identify the first steps to changing these toxic patterns. For example, you could try replacing alcohol with fizzy grape juice in your house, or each time you catch yourself ruminating on your past failures and feeling inadequate, stand up and speak positive affirmations in the mirror. Once you complete this writing practice and give time to it, you will find new revelations from your higher self to change your life.It’s important to rewrite the patterns in your brain that keep you trapped in loops of negative thinking. Although modern psychology focuses a lot on the problem, holistic healing systems focus on the connection between mind body and spirit and how to resolve problems from an energetic and karmic level. A simple practice to rewrite your reality and achieve self-confidence is to WITHOUT FAIL write down 3 ways in which you won at the end of each day. It could be a career win or a personal self-care win. But make sure you count this every day before going to sleep and watch the way you feel about yourself shift in a matter of days.
Exercise: keep aside a special notebook to write your journal at the end of each day. Make a note of 3 ways in which you won today, no matter how small. It could be that you cleaned your room or you went out for a walk. If you feel like, you can create two separate lists for work and personal growth wins.Whilst a lot of what the modern world offers is on the physical and psychological plane, the fact is that we are spiritual beings and the source of all is consciousness. When we talk about something like self-confidence, the ultimate disconnection is between the idea we have of ourselves and our spirit - because our spirit is eternal, abundant and whole. If you really think about it, the reason behind so many Vedic traditions is for this reason, as with other indigenous cultures across the globe. So, the fourth point hits straight to the root of the concept of the ‘self.’ The idea of ‘self’ is not your body, mind or life experience. A word not to get confused by new age concepts like killing the ego or diluting one’s identity which have no place in indigenous wisdom. You do not have to dilute yourself, but rather a better way to understand this is MERGING yourself with the Divine cosmic energy of the universe which in turn works ON IT’S OWN to purify you from a deep cellular level and revive your genetic memory of your powerful organic natural essence.
Exercise: write down some of the ways you can incorporate daily rituals into your life that connect you to spirit. This could be as simple as waking up at sunrise and standing with your palms folded and greeting the sun. It could be making food offerings into the earth or doing fire rituals. If you are familiar with and have a connection with Sanskrit mantras, you can chant morning or evening mantras and perform a small daily Puja to make offerings to the creator. In addition, write down exercises you can do throughout the day that are going to strengthen your channel to Spirit. For example, meditating for 10 minutes every morning or walking barefoot in the grass for 15 minutes to restore your connection with the earth. You don’t need to think of too many things and get confused, but rather pick a few essential ones and implement them every day! Do what feels right for you and know that over time, when you put efforts you do get results.One of the things that is necessary to support your self-confidence is reconnect with the things that make you happy from the inside and caring for your inner child. When we are looped into our trauma and wounding we often forget that at our core, we are free-spirited joyous beings and you can always access that. Doubt, sadness and fear are simply like clouds that cover the sun but the sun is always present nevertheless. You are this sun. So, take some time to think about and reconnect with the things that genuinely making you happy from a soul level. Maybe it is spending time with animals, painting, singing, dancing, or any activity (not escape) that uplifts your spirit.
Exercise: write down some of the activities that made you happy as child. Was it cycling or walking around in nature? Was it art projects or learning new things? Your inner child is still there and wanting to be nourished. Make a note of how you felt when you were most free-spirited. What did this feel like and where were you at the time? Note that you cannot move backwards and that your present is the most beautiful moment right now. But you can invoke that energy in the present and channel it into the future; you always that glowing, bright and uplifting person and sometimes all you need is a bit of time to nurture your soul.They say that, one of the best things to do when you feel low is give to others. I don’t mean this in terms of toxic relationships or avenues that don’t really value who you are. But rather, going out of your way to give to those in need and connect with them on a human level. For example, get out of your house and feed the people living on the roads. Speak to them and ask them about their life. One of the most uplifting things you can do for your self-confidence is dissolve your limited self into the expanded self of wholeness. Sewa is one of the most effective ways to transmute that because we all have shared trauma. Make a note of some different interactive activities you can do, or even on ground volunteering and start somewhere. You will surely feel a massive surge of positive energy and feel your traumas start to dissolve.
And lastly, make assertions about your future. Self-confidence is built over time and there doesn’t need to be a delay in working towards your goals. You can start now, start small, and you will get to where you want. This is why it is really important to get clear on what it is your soul calling is. It can take some time to integrate the higher realms with the practical realm, but don’t give up. Maybe you need some time to explore and travel to rewaken your inspiration. Or maybe you need to sit and write down, what impact do you want to make in the world, what is uniquely special to you? Take time, and the time will pay off. Most of all, trust your spirit and devote more time to reconnecting to your source and this cosmic intelligence will awaken within and assist you in your self-healing journey at every step.
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Wishing you a beautiful day,
I'm gonna try step no. 1 now (it's very similar to the morning pages practise which Julia Cameron recommends in her book, the artist's way)